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| Recent family photo of the Duggar family including their oldest son with his wife and child. |
Time for a rant…
you've been warned.
If you haven't heard yet, the Duggar family is expecting their 20th child. Blessed be God!! Another beautiful immortal soul!! This is fantastic news in my book. But not so for everyone. I first heard of the Duggar's news on Facebook. One of my Facebook "friends" (we hung out occasionally in highschool) posted about it on their wall. And they had a very different take on the news than I had. Here is their quote:
"Great news! The Duggars are expecting baby number 20! Any of you L&D nurses want to take care of her? At some point the uterus might decide to fall out…and seriously after a micropremie and severe Pre-eclampsia? WTF?"
…a response from one of their other friends was this:
"And their so proud. Do they not have a clue that they look like complete idiots to the whole country. They are oblivious."
So. Let me get this straight. With all the crap we have going on in the world. All the atrocities. All of the constant bad news. We are going to focus our disgust on this? We are going to bash a couple that has happiness? We are going to belittle their joy? We can't wait to tear someone down. Wipe that "proud" smile off your face! How can you possibly be happy over another child? And the 20th one to boot!
I know the argument here... Well, she's had all these kids(!) and combined with her age (45) and her past high-risk pregnancy (premie baby and pre-eclampsia)…she has no right to have another one! Michelle Duggar is deluded at best and a selfish publicity-seeker at worst. Basically, she is risking her life and the life of the child by continuing to have children.
Here is my take. Every pregnancy is a risk. Every. Pregnancy. There are MANY fit and healthy 20 year old women that have had both pre-eclampsia and premie babies on their first pregnancy. So what now? Are we the preggy police? Your risk is higher than her risk so you shouldn't be allowed to be pregnant, is that it? You take a gamble every time you become pregnant. Yes, Michelle Duggar has a higher risk than most, but that fit 20 year old has risks, too. We just don't know who is going to have medical complications and who isn't. We can guess. We can make estimates on percentages, but we do not know. Are we going to start telling women with Lupus or Diabetes that they are not allowed to be pregnant? I know several women with these medical complications that have decided to have children anyway (successfully, I might add). It was worth the risk to them. What about those couples with hidden genetic issues? Are we going to take that decision away from the parents? Is that where this leads?
It's a scary thought.
If you're honestly concerned about Michelle and her baby, then why don't you pray for them. It would do more for them and you.
A rant is sometimes necessary for sanity. Although I do not think every woman is called to have 20 children, indeed not every woman is called to have children, the Duggars are doing this culture a beautiful deed by showing the joys of being open to the preciousness of another child and the blessings of a larger family. They are braving the backlash of all those who have bought the culture's idea that as far as blessings are concerned, less is more.
ReplyDeleteThe Duggar's have a beautiful family! It is a bit mind-boggling to imagine myself with that many children, but that does not mean that it is not possible, good, healthy, beautiful and blessed! You are spot on with this post. I really think it boils down to the fact that people are unhappy. If a woman is an unhappy mother of two, she imagines her misery multiplied by the Duggar 20 and finds it unacceptable.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I completely agree. I never do understand those who question another couple's choice to be open to life. What an awful judgment!
ReplyDelete"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." Mt 7:1-2
And you are so right about high-risk pregnancies...and my uterus fell out after four babies...was that my "punishment"? Folks need to check the logs in their eyes before looking for splinters in others.
Thank you for this rant. I completely agree with you!
ReplyDeleteYay for the Duggars!!! She is not a publicity whor either, because they don't even watch tv!! I think they do the tv thing for the money, they need the money--it has brought many benefits to their family.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you too.
This morning, at the doctors office, I ran into a woman I used to work with about 20 years ago, and when I told her this was my 6th baby, she said "Wow, and they told you not to have any kids!" I said "who told me not to have any?" She said the doctors, then she said well, another friend of ours said I "shouldn't" because of the diabetes. I've ran into that alot, people thinking because I'm a type 1 Diabetic, I shouldn't have babies. It's a bunch of baloni, obviously, they've all been healthy. It's people making their judgements because it does become a high risk pregnancy. The thing is though, it takes work, and people, in the general population are not willing to sacrifice any or work for something, even a baby. Compare the work of having a baby to the work of a college degree or something like that, don't all things worth it, take time and effort?
My husband's partner at work's wife is pregnant, she also works for them, she does the books and payroll, she is pregnant with their 2nd child and is constantly complaining and saying this is their last baby,and that they are done. It drives my husband crazy, he thinks she is a wuss. It makes him sad too because he knows his partner wants more, comes from a big family and yet, he knew before he married her it would be like this.
I really think if a person doesn't have that pro-life mentality, or not even that, but the being open to life mentality, they just won't ever "get it".
OK, I've said too much, but being a high risk pregnancy woman, I had a right, right?
Type 1 diabetic (for 32 years), 6th c-section, history of early labor and delivery, over 40er,open to God's will, signing off....
Jamie, you have every right and are more than justified. That's why I think this hit me so hard, too. I was and would be considered a high risk pregnancy. So it felt a little more personal to me.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I changed my wording from publicity whore to publicity-seeker. Giving the other sides argument (their words in reactions I have heard or read) was too harsh for me.
ReplyDeleteGood post! We love the Duggar's! I had not heard, though, that they are expecting again. I think it's wonderful. Nice little rant, Kelly! +JMJ+
ReplyDeleteGood for them! Would that more people were more open to life. The world would be a nicer place. Great rant too :) Not to mention that once you've had complications, a responsible doctor would follow a new pregnancy closer to catch any complications and manage them early. If you don't know there may be a problem, is when they sometimes slip by and become bigger. People need to stay out of other people's bedrooms! :)
ReplyDeleteAMEN! And the best part about this incredible family? They are debt free, own their home outright, and the love they feel for each other and God is tangible.
ReplyDeleteThat is threatening to a lot of people who are unwilling to let go of their inward focused life.
Sorry, believe me, this makes me rant too. I love the Duggars. They are doing what they feel God has called them to do all because of the loss of one of their babies.
I say more power to them! They are an inspiration.
Amen, Kelly!!!!! I agree with you 100%. God bless you for posting this!
ReplyDeleteAMEN! I'll be re-posting this excellent rant.
ReplyDeleteWell said! And necessary...unfortunately. There are far too many people merely paying lip service to what it means to be "pro-life" and "pro-family."
ReplyDeleteWestern culture tends to be contraceptive in mentality, so it is tempting to embrace the Duggars are champions. The problem is, they go to the opposite extreme. Although the Duggars openness to life is admirable, Catholics should be wary of declaring them heroese. The Duggars are part of the "Quiver Full" movement which declares that Natural Family Planning is sinful contrary to the teachings of the Catholic Church.
ReplyDeletePope John Paul II wrote in Humanae Vitae:
"With regard to man’s innate drives and emotions, responsible parenthood means that man’s reason and will must exert control over them." (HV, #10)
The USCCB provided further guidance in a document on Responsible Parenthood:
Let them [husband and wife] thoughtfully take into account both their own welfare and that of their children, those already born and those which the future may bring. For this accounting they need to reckon with both the material and the spiritual conditions of the times as well as of their state in life. Finally, they should consult the interests of the family group, of temporal society, and of the Church herself. (GS, #50)
The Quiver Full movement in practice promotes the idea that pregnancy whenever possible is desirable. That IS NOT what the Catholic Church teaches because it actually can violate the concept of human dignity by making us slaves to our sexual desires, only on the opposite extreme of what the contraceptive culture promotes. Both extremes are wrong.
I think because it is such an oddity in our society to have more than 2-3 kids, that one woman who is obeying God and is open to life is a mystery. God knows what He is doing and she should be praised for honoring Him.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister! I had a friend say something similar. Something about "all the starving children in the world" and "overpopulation". Like the Duggar's having 20 children causes all that. Lol. I would never say no to another child and Michele Duggar is blessed. I'm glad there will be more Duggars in the world and less of the grumpy people not having children.
ReplyDelete