So, yeah…do I remember how to do this? ...Blogging I mean. It's been a while. I've been trapped in a baby-time black hole for the last few months. Sorry, but that's life. Well, my life anyway, with baby A. I'm not even sure I have any readers left, especially after the closing down of Google reader, but that's okay. . I'm just journaling here to work out my thoughts anyhow.
My 17 year wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of next week and, as always, it has me thinking and reminiscing. Funny thing, as I've been walking down memory lane, I've been seeing posts and facebook updates talking about Simcha Fisher's new book coming out on NFP called The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning. I haven't read her book yet (not yet released), but I'm planning on it when it comes out for the NOOK. And so, my thoughts have turned especially to our first experience using NFP and to our honeymoon. Ah, the memories! The awkward, exciting, and awfulness of being a Catholic newlywed with the NFP tome tucked under one arm and a complimentary cruise-ship bottle of wine tucked under the other. Yes, we were blessed to be able to go on a 10 day cruise for our honeymoon.
I hope I don't regret dipping my half-hearted-blogger foot into the craziness of this particular pool. I'm not going to try and debate the controversy of NFP- GOOD Catholic! NFP- BAD Catholic! I'm just reflecting on my own personal experience while on my honeymoon. Honestly, I'm not sure who will agree with me. I'll probably just end up tweaking everyone's noses in one way or another. Ah, well. Here it goes…
I don't recommend you follow NFP on your honeymoon. Nope. I do not. Your honeymoon is not the time to be stressing about mucus, temps and cervix thickness. It is not the time to be counting and recounting days on your chart. No. This is the time to be getting to know your spouse in a very intimate way; the most intimate of ways. Leave the book and charts at home. It will be there when you get back. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying to not learn it. By all means, please, take the class with your fiance as either part of your marriage prep classes or separately, but you should not be using this tender time together flipping out that it's not phase 3 yet and - WTH? It should be phase 3 by now! Why are my temps still all over the map?!
If you haven't guessed yet, this is what we did on our honeymoon. The first four days I was so freaked out about doing it wrong. What would the teaching couple and the other couples in our class say if we got pregnant in the first month of marriage?! Yeah, I was young (just turned 20 years old) and dumb. I made myself miserable and my poor husband miserable, too. When I was -all systems go!- he was reading "the book" and looking over my chart, when he was -all systems go!- I was reading "the book" and looking over my chart. Ugh. Never at the same place at the same time. Badly, badly done. As a matter of fact, by the time we got on the cruise ship in Vancouver, B.C. we were both so stressed out that we blew up and had a horrible argument. I mean h o r r i b l e. I really think this goes down in the history of our relationship as the worst argument we've ever had. And it was on our honeymoon! Yikes. I yelled stuff, he yelled stuff and then he slammed the door to our cabin and I was left in the silence to cry and think. I really thought he had left me on that ship to go on my own to Alaska. And I couldn't have blamed him if he did. Actually, he was just hanging out in one of the ship's bars cooling off with a beer. Lucky for me. Though it seemed like an eternity, he came back within the hour and we were reconciled before the ship left harbor. We agreed to not even mention NFP the rest of the time on the honeymoon. The rest of the trip was fabulous and glorious and all that newly married jazz. All that was needed was for us to be on the same page. Forget about sympto-thermal blah-blah and just relax and be together.
|Taken on the cruise ship about an hour after our big blowup and reconciling.|
In the end, it is a prayerful decision for you and your fiance to work out. But please, work it out before the honeymoon.
I regret those first couple of days that were filled with needless frustration and I know my husband does, too. I only wish I could go back and give the newly married, stressed, and naive me the advice here in this post. I share it because I wish I had read something like this before my wedding day. Not sure that I would have listened, though. Some lessons you only learn the hard way.